Here is why I love dating a girl who travel !
Distance doesn’t affect her like with normal relationships
Sure you miss each other sometimes, but you are both used to long distances, being away from those you love and keeping yourself busy with your own goals and dreams. There are days I wish I could just fly across the world and surprise her on her doorstep. Really when you are away you appreciate each other a lot more, we like to cook together, talk, hike, read and watch movies. Skype time becomes a thing that you make space for in your day, like eating and going to work, it is given its own little slot in your 24 hour timetable.
You even begin to miss her stereotypical Asian habits like making sure the room is free from dust, watching everything on an ipad instead of a TV and this weird obsession with mushrooms, I mean she even eats them with roast beef! Am I wrong in my statement that this is an Asian thing? Or am I assuming about our deliciously tasty fungi friends and its just JYs preference? She can eat anything for breakfast as well, I mean I have seen her eat canned tomato soup and even chocolate cake!
She appreciates the little things in life
She appreciates things that some people can’t understand, like when she wakes up in the morning that cup of tea is all the more worth drinking, even though she leaves in the teabag which we English find revolting, I think it is because she remembers when she didn’t drink it for two months on the road, but it makes her so cute! She would rather get up early and go on a long hike to take photos than go clubbing, or would rather open a cookery book and make something random for dinner than go out and spend lots on a meal. She would rather walk up that large hill and have a picnic than spend money on clothes and nail polish. Her idea of a lay in is to pick up a lonely planet and read it while talking about where we are going next, or flicking through her FB photo album trying to remember the names of half the people in them.
She has seen what is on the other side of the hill
Some people live their lives in a routine that they are reluctant to change for many reasons, maybe they are happy? Maybe they are settled with a family? Maybe they can’t because of a criminal conviction or maybe don’t have the funds. But really whatever your excuse the simple fact remains, those who have never done it will never understand what I mean until they do.
You see before I went to parts unknown, I was happy working for long unsociable hours, hard work for little gain and a very small view of the world for what it is; a vast expanse that was created for us to fill, discovering new places and interacting with different cultures. Humans have always felt the need to explore, from Julius Caesar to Christopher Columbus, what drove them in search of something different? What was it that made them get up off their seat and say, I wonder what is out there, maybe I will go and find out.
You see I think you will all agree that most parents expect their children to excel in their studies, hours of scouring boring textbooks looking at numbers and words at the same time depriving these wonderful young people the chance to focus on different things. JY tasted the sweet fruit of freedom when we went traveling together, as I did before that, she finds it hard to go back to reality because she dreams of what mountain she will climb next, which hidden temple she will discover and what strange dish she will eat afterwards.
It is known as wanderlust, an incurable disease that is maybe the only illness in life you should try to contact. It makes you lose concentration when you are in the middle of something important, gives you strange periods of unhappiness when you least expect it, and has you pining to spend one more day on that tropical beach, or sitting on a hill watching the sunrise. She woke up one morning and discovered because she has climbed over the hill and she prefers what is on the other side, she realised there is no way she could ever be happy turning around and walking back..
Know that like a bird, she enjoys her freedom so don’t try to clip her wings
Guys if you decide to date a well-travelled, cultured girl, please don’t try to tie her down or lecture her on what she must or mustn’t do. I find a lot of guys I know will try to control the relationship by not actually listening to what their partner wants, if your girl wants to travel let her, yes it is hard to be separated from the person you love, but she is making herself a better person by doing it.
You have no power or right to try and suppress a backpacking urge, like a tidal wave it cant be resisted and if you try you’ll be overpowered by it. If JY wants to travel and I won’t be able to do it with her, I don’t want to not see her, but I know it is what will make her happy. So guys instead of trying to stop her leaving I would help her pack her case, or drive her to the airport. Myself and JY have found that the best way to cope with a long distance is try to keep the negativity down to the least minimum, like we have days where we disagree over silly things, either because we are tired or because JY with her robotically functioning A* Asian brain, gets mad because my Caucasian mind cannot remember every detail of the whole world.
Guys if you are in a relationship with a girl who likes her independence and freedom, nurture it don’t try to crush it because you will only end up driving your lover away. Just think, after a few months of being away from each other not only will you truly realise whether you want to be together, but also she will have lots of amazing stories to tell.
Let her love herself so that she can fully dedicate herself to loving you.
Remember you are what she wants to come back to, don’t make yourself the thing she is travelling to escape from.
She understands money only purchases the things that make you happy but it is not the source of happiness
You will get a richer cultural experience by getting out and discovering things yourself, rather than relying on money to give you the satisfaction that comes with backpacking freely and on a budget. Instead of paying 3000 SGD for two weeks staying in culture devoid hotels, taking the tourist buses or eating in the most expensive restaurants, pay 3000 SGD for an around the world ticket, and see lots of countries rather than a small amount of one or two, eat in the dirty hovel down the back street that is filled with locals smoking and socialising. See if you can sit with them maybe? In our experience its kinda funny to sit with people where you have to use body language and have only basic words to have a wonderful conversation.
Our money goes on air tickets to see each other. But our trips are always cheap, because we hunt places off the tourist trail. If you need inspiration try AirBnb as you can stay almost anywhere in the world, having your own privacy and the advantage of locals telling you the best places.
Where I am going with this for all you first time travellers out there, when you get there don’t head straight to the nearest noodle stand, or to the nearest KFC. Take time to ask local people where is the best place to eat or drink coffee, or the best place to see at night.
She makes it hard to be negative
She sees the positive to every situation and never panics when lost, she loves to be around people who have something to say, whereas it hurts to be around people who are motivated by things in life that can be taken away, such as a job or money. Her memories will always be there whatever happens and it is nice to just listen rather than talk, people talk to much and don’t listen enough. I love hearing her stories!
She loves trying new things
I love the fact when I make suggestions, she is always up for tagging along. She doesn’t make excuses why not to do something, she goes out of her way to convince me why we should. I love the fact she wants to look at flowers and take the dog for a walk, or discovering some random ass tavern in Austria where the locals are all friendly and anyone I know doesn’t know it exists. She loves to try new food like horse meat (in Italy), or Devonshire Pollack that I cooked for her on our trip to Beer. If there is a back street, in an obscure place that no one has heard of and with nobody in it, she always insists on going to look.
She’s not demanding
She would rather cook for herself and have nights in with her bf all in aid of saving money for the next trip. She doesn’t want expensive clothes, or expensive overpriced holidays, even though she is a girl and she never says no to birthday and Christmas presents! Plus she’s Asian so she is not going to say no if someone offers her free stuff and she can always sniff out a bargain.
All I will say is that guys if you do find yourself dating a girl who travels be open minded, accept that she will be independent and most importantly accept the fact that she may at times love life more than she loves you. So you have two choices, let her live life or live it with her!
Stay tuned for our next post!
Dale & JY
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